Definitely Not Anxiety

Currently, I am diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and have known this for about two years coming up on three. However, I have had ongoing health issues since I was about 12 years old.

I remember the day very clearly when I started having some problems physically. I woke up one morning and (I'll just say it, I'll be getting very personal on this blog) my period had started. Uncomfortable as usual. Painful as usual. This time though, I felt sick. So, I laid down on the couch. I felt okay, but then after a bit I started throwing up. Ever since that one day, I started feeling sick and throwing up every morning for months on end. I was homeschooled growing up for the most part, so I didn't need to worry about making it to school on time. It did affect my schooling though. I did have some online classes that I had to miss frequently because of this "morning sickness" that I had every day, but my teachers were understanding. 

I became very underweight. I weighed between 85 and 87 pounds at the age of about 14, if I remember correctly. I ended up going to my primary doctor and they had a couple of theories. I was either anemic or had anxiety issues. They suggested I go to a therapist and prescribed me some anti-depressants. I do tend to get anxious easily, but I didn't think it was near bad enough to have these kinds of physical reactions. The therapist did help my anxiety a little, but the daily nausea persisted. I took half of an anti-depressant pill like the doctor prescribed, and it made me feel absolutely miserable. It was the sickest I had ever felt at the time after I took that medicine. So, I immediately stopped.

I went back to the doctor for a follow up, and they still said it was probably anxiety when I was sure it wasn't. So, for a while, I just quit going to the doctor and the symptoms eventually got a little better on its own. But, it was replaced with different symptoms, cramping in my stomach and diarrhea every morning. I thought... okay, well at least this is better than throwing up every morning. Eventually, when I was about 17 or 18 years old, it got so bad that it essentially got me fired from my babysitting job. I came home sobbing because I was so frustrated with the fact that my health had gotten out of hand enough that it got me fired and I was very upset that I had let someone down that I very much looked up to. 

At that moment, my mom had had enough and took me straight to urgent care. This day is what got me sent to a GI doctor and the real labs and testing took place to really see what was going on. This was not anxiety. I am typically a happy girl. Maybe not outgoing. Maybe a bit shy. But I was not chronically anxious. I knew that much. 

In my next post I will explain the process I went through that, in the end, got me diagnosed with this UC disease and some things I had to change about my diet. If you read this far, thank you for reading!